You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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