I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we're so committed to being not committed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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