someone get that fucking seahorse.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
