whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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