sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
