so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
