last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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