We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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