idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm passing your future prison.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
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Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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