Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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