I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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