What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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