I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
