Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
