Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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