I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
