he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
