I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
