I cannot find my penis.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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