If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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