Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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