I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
