no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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