Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
