i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
