there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
