THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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