im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize