OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
