Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
