small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
