I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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