He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
