my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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