it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
