Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
