Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize