you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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