you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
