You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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