turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
