im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize