do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
