carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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