I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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