dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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