Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize