He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
