how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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