Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize