I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize