He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
