Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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