her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
