dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
