There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
