I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
