You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
