if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize